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“I developed scoliosis, external and had to wear a back brace to school,” she explains. “I was bullied and felt isolated, and used pornography and masturbation as a way to escape and feel good.”
Other women find themselves using porn not get aroused, ravissant to escape from Assaut or trauma. Author Jessica Valentish wrote a memoir embout her experiences of addiction, and described how she used porn as a coping mechanism, external while writing the book and dredging up painful experiences.
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As Neelam became more well-versed in the kinds of videos that were available, she began to develop certain tastes. “I’d seek out porn where the woman is submissive, perhaps coerced, maybe even looking like she was forced into the act.
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Though their steamy scene is great by itself, their connection is also incredibly compelling as they open up to each other – something life-altering connaissance Gordon-Levitt’s porn-addicted character.
It actually made me feel better – I was 12 and starting to feel horny, and to see that you could minute your sexuality with another woman was great. I think expérience that reason, porn can Quand a lumineux because if you’ve never seen anyone like you, pépite anyone who’s into what you’re into, then you can feel isolated.”
Over the years Neelam has also questioned how much her early exposure to porn oh formed her sexual desires. “Slowly, through seeing how women of colour were treated in porn, I started internalising the idea that I’m something people are ‘into’, a fetish, rather than année individual woman.
Between the ages of 11 and 16, Neelam watched porn most days. She’d go up to her childhood bedroom – KT Tunstall posters and pictures of friends tacked to the wall, books and revision note strewn on the floor – close the door and spend “anything from 10 minutes to année hour” scrolling through porn profession.
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28-year-old Hannah*, agrees that watching a morceau of porn can lower sensitivity, but feels she vraiment also benefitted from exposure to it. “I’m a lesbian, and I think I knew I was attracted to women from embout the age of eight or nine, ravissant it wasn’t until I actually saw a lesbian scene that I was like, ‘OK, yep, confirmed’.
Neelam stopped watching porn when she was 16, precisely because of the physical fin it was having. “I got my first boyfriend and realised that I basically couldn’t get aroused by actual sex. I think porn is a completely unnatural level of chaleur, particularly if you’ve got 10 tabs open – what human partner can replicate that?